Enneagram Type 3 Achievers/Motivators are typically energetic, optimistic, self-assured and goal-oriented. Enneagram Type 7 is called the Enthusiast, the Adventurer, and the Generalist because of their enthusiasm for almost everything (especially new things), their adventure-seeking focus, and their wide range of interests. Here we explore the compatibility of an Enneagram Type 3 with a Type 7 and what the relationship looks like when it is in balance and when it starts to spiral downward.
Enneagram Type 3:7 When In Balance
The Achiever (3) with the Enthusiast (7) make an extremely high energy couple, and this can be a complementary match as both have ample energy to keep up with each other. Both are extroverted, positive, social, lively, outgoing with full schedules and multiple activities. They share a can-do attitude and a belief in a brighter future that can be uplifting to those around them.
To the dynamic, the Achiever (3) brings a practical orientation, a sense of priority and a concern about appearances. They have a heightened concern about what others might think and spend time and energy to make sure the couple is appropriate, accomplished and well-regarded in the community.
Enthusiast (7)s are driven by a sense of adventure, a desire for fun and an appetite for the new, and thus they are less concerned about the opinions of others. Resilient and not overly concerned about failure, they can be spontaneous and outrageous, traits that are both balancing and sometimes healing for the Achiever (3).
The two complement each other with the Achiever (3) bringing a focus on goal achievement and practicality, and the Enthusiast (7) bringing a sense of fun and adventure, boldness and good cheer. They work as a team with the Enthusiast (7) generating the ideas and plans and the Achiever (3) stepping in to make sure the plans are well executed. This couple can be almost legendary in its energy level with others marveling at how they keep it up.
Enneagram Type 3:7 The Downward Spiral
Both Achiever (3)s and Enthusiast (7) are likely to stay on the go and instinctively turn their attention to the positive. With so much energy focused outward, it can be challenging for this couple to slow down enough to look at deeper issues and examine real problems. There can also be an air of superficiality to this relationship. The couple may look great together but lack true intimacy. Without the ability to drop the masks, slow down and share weaknesses and vulnerabilities, the emotional connection may be lost. In this environment, the downward spiral can be triggered in a variety of ways.
Avoidant behavior can inadvertently trigger the downward spiral if the partners hurt each other without realizing it. Enthusiast (7)s reframe negative situations into positive ones. The defense mechanism of the Achiever (3) is work harder in negative situations. Since neither is particularly skilled in directly dealing with negative issues, problems can pile up with minor resentments growing, frustrations building and concerns going unaddressed. Without learning to slow down, to sit quietly together and to honestly discuss real issues and the relationship itself, the intimacy the couple once shared becomes eroded.
Alternatively, competing agendas can be an issue. Both Achiever (3)s and Enthusiast (7)s are self-interested and when their personal goals fall out of alignment, it can be difficult to reach compromise. With tightening defenses, both dig in their heels, the Achiever (3) focusing more on their goals and the Enthusiast (7) focusing more on their freedom. Both partners may have the instinct to run, feeling their life priorities are at risk. Without a mechanism to put the relationship first and break the momentum, this couple may put individual interests ahead of the partnership, leading to a split.
Learn more about the Enneagram Compatibility of Type 3s in relationships with Type 7s
Enneagram knowledge can be transformative in improving your relationships and an important tool in cultivating compassion, both towards yourself and others. In my book, “The Nine Keys: A Guide Book to Unlock Your Relationships Using Kundalini Yoga and the Enneagram” I explore intimate relationships through the lens of the Enneagram.
The Nine Keys
The Nine Keys is the essential encyclopedia of the Enneagram in relationships. This book contains Enneagram relationship theory for all 45 type combinations as well as personal testimonials all 81 relationship perspectives. Drawing on over 1,500 years of relationship experience from over 100 couples from around the world, the descriptions and testimonials are instructive, uplifting, cautionary, and sometimes scary and humorous – all real, all good. Browse the entire book here.
“This book has been so incredibly helpful. Not only has it given me a better understanding of the dynamics in my romantic relationships (both failed and successful!), but has given me insight into my familial and platonic relationships, as well.”– EVK
- Read more: Enthusiast (7)s talking about their relationships with their Achiever (3) at page 158
- Read more: Achiever (3)s talking about their relationships with their Enthusiast (7) at page 317
- Read more : the Kundalini Yoga kriyas and meditations for Achiever (3)s at page 454 and Enthusiast (7)s at page 462