Enneagram Type 3 Achievers/Motivators are typically energetic, optimistic, self-assured and goal-oriented. Enneagram Type 6 Loyalists/Doubters/Skeptics are typically responsible, reliable, trustworthy and value security and loyalty. Here we explore the compatibility of an Enneagram Type 3 with a Type 6 and what the relationship looks like when it is in balance and when it starts to spiral downward.
Enneagram Type 3:6 When In Balance
This couple shares the values of hard work, discipline, determination and a drive for comfort and security. Both are willing to put in effort, energy and sacrifice to their reach targets. They share many fundamental values and have a high degree of respect and admiration for each other.
Achiever (3)s bring optimism, a can-do attitude and a sense of expansion and possibility. They present confidently to the outside world and communicate positively and easily with others. They give the relationship polish and a drive to be the best. With their relentless focus on success, their efforts go a long way in establishing practical comforts in this couple’s shared life.
Loyalist (6)s offer reliability, caution, a strong sense of duty and responsibility and an eye for potential pitfalls. They remind their Achiever (3) to be more cautious and realistic and of the value of human relationships and connection with other people. With their collaborative, interpersonal approach, they can take the edge off their Achiever (3)’s competitive drive. When in balance and connecting at the heart, this is a stable, supportive partnership. Both can be each other’s best cheerleader, and they highly value the life they have built together.
Enneagram Type 3:6 The Downward Spiral
In the lower levels of awareness, these types can bring out the worst in each other. Both partners share a competitive nature and when under stress, this may be directed towards each other. Both have the potential to be workaholics and to look outside themselves to feel secure and valuable. It is easy for them to lose their own internal compass and to get lost in the opinions and impressions of others. Both may avoid deep introspection, making it difficult for true motivations and desires to be discussed or even acknowledged.
Each type has a different stress response and can become irritated watching the other, thus triggering the downward spiral. Achiever (3)s see their Loyalist (6) as anxious, overreactive and unnecessarily pessimistic. They feel their Loyalist (6) is taking the wind from their sails, bringing them down and creating an unnecessarily negative environment.
The Loyalist (6) may grow frustrated at the relentless orientation towards goals of their Achiever (3). They may feel their partner is missing out on the truly important things in life and can grow weary with the Achiever (3)’s need to constantly achieve. They can also get irritated at their Achiever (3)’s desire to put a positive spin on everything, feeling this is disingenuous.
With tightening defenses, each feels their stability slip, and the downward spiral gains momentum. They may begin to lose respect for each other and become evasive and withdrawn. The relationship takes on a lifeless flavor as deeper, more meaningful issues are avoided, and both partners craft independent lives for themselves. Because both value security so highly, the relationship may continue, with the Achiever (3) presenting a mask to the world and the Loyalist (6) keeping quiet, afraid to rock the boat. The relationship may coast along in a stable yet zombie-like state until eventually some outside force enters the picture and exposes the truth. At that point, the partners are either forced to deal with previously repressed issues, or the relationship splits.
Learn more about the Enneagram Compatibility of Type 3s in relationships with Type 6s
Enneagram knowledge can be transformative in improving your relationships and an important tool in cultivating compassion, both towards yourself and others. In my book, “The Nine Keys: A Guide Book to Unlock Your Relationships Using Kundalini Yoga and the Enneagram” I explore intimate relationships through the lens of the Enneagram.
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The Nine Keys is the essential encyclopedia of the Enneagram in relationships. This book contains Enneagram relationship theory for all 45 type combinations as well as personal testimonials all 81 relationship perspectives. Drawing on over 1,500 years of relationship experience from over 100 couples from around the world, the descriptions and testimonials are instructive, uplifting, cautionary, and sometimes scary and humorous – all real, all good. Browse the entire book here.
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- Read more: Loyalist (6)s talking about their relationships with their Achiever (3) at page 153
- Read more: Achiever (3)s talking about their relationships with their Loyalist (6) at page 269
- Read more: Kundalini Yoga kriyas and meditations for Achiever (3)s at page 454 and Loyalist(6)s at page 462