Enneagram Type 7 is called the Enthusiast, the Adventurer, and the Generalist because of their enthusiasm for almost everything (especially new things), their adventure-seeking focus, and their wide range of interests. Enneagram Type 9 is called the Peacemaker or the Meditator because of their focus on harmony and their mellow, go-with-the-flow attitude. Here we explore the compatibility of an Enneagram Type 7 with a Type 9 and what the relationship looks like when it is in balance and when it starts to spiral downward.
Enneagram Type 7:9 When In Balance
The Enthusiast (7) with the Peacemaker (9) can make a loving, effective partnership helping to balance each other’s nearly opposite energetic tendencies and compensating for each other’s blind spots and weaknesses. The Enthusiast (7) helps to energize and wake up the Peacemaker (9). The Peacemaker (9) helps to ground and focus the Enthusiast (7). Foundational values of this partnership are mutual acceptance, the belief in a positive future and supportive, balancing companionship.
Enthusiast (7)s offer high energy, a positive outlook, curiosity and a nearly insatiable drive to try new things. Their extroverted drive for fun and their busy schedule help shake the Peacemaker (9) into action. Enthusiast (7)s are action-oriented without much fear of failure. This allows them to cheerfully charge into new environments and experiences without a lot of hesitation or deliberation. Any actual failure is reframed as positive, and they tend to be quite resilient. All of these characteristics are helpful and inspiring for the Peacemaker (9) whose approach to life is more slow-paced, hesitant and deliberate.
Peacemaker (9)s share a positive outlook about life but tend to be more grounded, calm, steady and reliable. They are considerate, good listeners focused on the needs of others and gifted at making outsiders feel welcomed and accepted. They model dependability, accommodation and a more relaxed laid-back approach to life that is very useful for the Enthusiast (7) to observe and mirror. They provide the Enthusiast (7) with easy companionship for the Enthusiast (7)’s wide range of adventures.
When in balance, this couple can be a wonderful balance of yin and yang energy, of high spirits and mellow acceptance.
Enneagram Type 7:9 The Downward Spiral
The downward spiral is usually triggered by the avoidance of negative topics or an imbalance of control.
Both types instinctively gravitate away from thorny issues and painful discussions. When fixated with tightening defenses, Enthusiast (7)s reframe negative events, focusing almost relentlessly on the positive. Processing negative emotions is extremely anxiety provoking for most Enthusiast (7)s, and their attention instinctively moves to more positive topics. Likewise, addressing negative issues is challenging and anxiety-provoking for Peacemaker (9)s. Difficult discussions feel like a threat to the harmony Peacemaker (9)s seek to feel stable. Major issues may go unaddressed, but the anxiety surrounding the issues remains and in a fixated state, the partners may begin blaming each other, acting out or becoming directly or indirectly critical and frustrated with one another. Thus begins the downward spiral.
An imbalance of control can also be a trigger in this relationship. Enthusiast (7)s are selfreferencing, and Peacemaker (9)s are other-referencing so it can be easy for the Enthusiast (7) to make demands, not realizing their Peacemaker (9) partner has different priorities and desires. The less verbal Peacemaker (9) may become passive-aggressive or start to numb out as an indirect strategy to stand their ground. The downward spiral is triggered and without fully realizing it, this couple can start to drift apart and may not consciously realize there is an issue until they have become quite distant.
The depth of the downward spiral has a lot to do with the partnership’s level of awareness. In extreme cases, the Enthusiast (7) gets frustrated and anxious and begins attacking the Peacemaker (9), triggering more passive resistance and stonewalling. If the momentum isn’t broken, this once joyous and balancing couple can polarize into respective corners of resentment, contempt, criticism and stonewalling until the relationship eventually ends.
Learn more about the Enneagram Compatibility of Type 7s in relationships with Type 9s
Enneagram knowledge can be transformative in improving your relationships and an important tool in cultivating compassion, both towards yourself and others. In my book, “The Nine Keys: A Guide Book to Unlock Your Relationships Using Kundalini Yoga and the Enneagram” I explore intimate relationships through the lens of the Enneagram.
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- Read more: Peacemaker (9)s talking about their relationships with their Enthusiast (7) at page 337
- Read more: Enthusiast (7)s talking about their relationships with their Peacemaker (9) at page 415
- Read more: Kundalini Yoga kriyas and meditations for Enthusiast(7)s at page 462 and Peacemaker (9)s at page 474