Enneagram Type 2 Helpers/Givers/Lovers are typically warm, concerned, nurturing and sensitive to the needs, preferences and desires of the people around them. Here we explore the compatibility of an Enneagram Type 2 with a Type 2 and what the relationship looks like when it is in balance and when it starts to spiral downward.
Enneagram Type 2:2 When In Balance
Two Helper (2)s make a kind-hearted pairing who place a high value on the relationship itself and are willing to work hard to make it successful and fulfilling. They strive to make the other feel loved and supported. Both partners have high emotional intelligence and are comfortable talking about their feelings so establishing a certain level of intimacy generally comes easily in this relationship. They both share the traits of being attentive, caring, nurturing, kind and reassuring.
As a couple, they are generous with time, energy and material support, trying to make the world a better place and to lessen suffering. When both partners are self-aware and in balance, they are extremely affectionate and connected while at the same time having a healthy sense of themselves and respect for personal boundaries.
Together, this is a generally loyal and stable partnership. Because both partners have such a drive to offer help, they may use their supportive, stable relationship as a foundation to bring in others that they can support and nurture. They create a supportive, healing environment and may invite the less fortunate to share this space with them. Together, this can be an altruistic, sweet, affirming and inspiring couple.
Enneagram Type 2:2 The Downward Spiral
When fixated, the Helper (2) defenses tighten around fear of rejection, feelings of low selfworth and a need for appreciation and validation from others.
Fear of rejection can come out in various ways with either or both partners accommodating behavior they are not really comfortable with. It can be hard for Helper (2)s to know their own needs and under stress, this disconnect intensifies. They may be deeply connected on some emotional and physical levels but miss each other completely on core needs and desires. There also may be issues of low self-esteem and indirect competition. The success of one partner may make the other feel worse about themselves.
This can bleed into questions of attractiveness and desirability. When fixated, Helper (2)s seek attention and admiration from others as a way to feel stable and to bolster their low self-esteem. As the downward spiral gains momentum, they may develop unhealthy dependencies on one another, and boundary issues develop. The more this continues, the more isolated and lonely each partner becomes threatening a once loving and supportive relationship.
Learn more about the Enneagram Compatibility of Type 2s in relationships with Type 2s
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The Nine Keys is the essential encyclopedia of the Enneagram in relationships. This book contains Enneagram relationship theory for all 45 type combinations as well as personal testimonials all 81 relationship perspectives. Drawing on over 1,500 years of relationship experience from over 100 couples from around the world, the descriptions and testimonials are instructive, uplifting, cautionary, and sometimes scary and humorous – all real, all good. Browse the entire book here.
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