Enneagram Type 5 Observers/Thinkers/Investigators are typically introverted, curious, analytical and insightful. Here we explore the compatibility of an Enneagram Type 5 with a Type 5 and what the relationship looks like when it is in balance and when it starts to spiral downward.
Enneagram Type 5:5 When In Balance
Two Investigator (5)s feel a great sense of relief to have found each other. They may share an immediate, intense cerebral connection and as the Investigator (5) experience is generally to feel like an alien or an outsider, they may feel mindblown to have met someone like them. They generally share a deep and profound understanding of each other including the desire to be reclusive, the need for privacy and time alone, the strong sense of personal boundaries and the gravitation towards logical, rational thought.
Each partner gives the other a lot of personal space and makes few demands either individually or on the relationship. Both are independent and self-sufficient. Both are emotionally contained, intellectually curious and interested in a pursuit of knowledge. While familiarity may be established instantly, intimacy is developed more slowly with both partners careful to respect the boundaries of the other. While this relationship may look contained and even robotic to the outside world, Investigator (5)s can get very attached to their partners, and this is no different in a double Investigator (5) couple. Affection may be expressed indirectly and connection may not require physical presence. This is a couple that feels bound to each other almost psychically. When in balance, this can make an intimate and intense match between kindred spirits.
Enneagram Type 5:5 The Downward Spiral
The very similarities that serve to bind this couple can also be what tears them apart. They can be too reclusive, too private, too independent and too distant from each other. In a fixated state with tightening defenses, Investigator (5) want more privacy and more time alone. With another Investigator (5), no one is likely to question this or make demands for time together. Without fully knowingly it, this couple can easily drift so far apart, the relationship is almost non existent or occurs only in their heads.
It can be difficult for this couple to connect at an emotional or heart level. Without this connection, romantic and sexual energy may fizzle, leaving the partnership as one more closely resembling friends or roommates. They become like two unicycles side by side instead of a tandem bicycle. Two Investigator (5)s can also get in the trap of overly identifying with their intellect and becoming arrogant or competitive with each other. This further weakens the fragile bond of intimacy.
As the downward spiral gains momentum, both Investigator (5)s go deeper into their heads and isolation intensifies. This is a logical, rational couple so heated fights are unlikely. This couple may end their relationship in a simple, logical conversation with very little emotional expression.
Learn more about the Enneagram Compatibility of Type 5s in relationships with Type 5s
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The Nine Keys is the essential encyclopedia of the Enneagram in relationships. This book contains Enneagram relationship theory for all 45 type combinations as well as personal testimonials all 81 relationship perspectives. Drawing on over 1,500 years of relationship experience from over 100 couples from around the world, the descriptions and testimonials are instructive, uplifting, cautionary, and sometimes scary and humorous – all real, all good. Browse the entire book here.
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- Read more: Investigator (5)s talking about their relationships with their Investigator (5) at page 235
- Read more: Kundalini Yoga kriyas and meditations for Investigator (5)s at 462