Enneagram Type 5 Observers/Thinkers/Investigators are typically introverted, curious, analytical and insightful. Enneagram Type 8 is called the Leader, the Challenger and the Protector because of their keen awareness of power dynamics: who is in control, who might need protection, who needs to be challenged. Here we explore the compatibility of an Enneagram Type 5 with a Type 8 and what the relationship looks like when it is in balance and when it starts to spiral downward.
Enneagram Type 5:8 When In Balance
Investigator (5)s and Leader (8)s bringing balancing but opposite traits to the relationship and can compensate for each other’s blind spots. They protect each other, albeit in different ways, and as a team, they are more powerful than they are individually.
Leader (8)s have a big, direct, powerful energy. They are assertive, earthy and in touch with their own body. They can step easily into their power, and engagement in the world isn’t something they shy away from. These traits are all on the growth path for Investigator (5)s, and they can learn a lot from observing their Leader (8) in action. The Leader (8) makes the Investigator (5) feel safe, secure and supported, all necessarily elements to allow Investigator (5)s to share more of themselves.
Conversely, Investigator (5)s are contained in their energy and calculated in their actions. They think deeply before they speak and act and naturally model self-restraint, control and moderation. They act as the wise sage, helping to reign in their Leader (8)’s more impulsive and at times destructive behavior. They demonstrate emotional calm and control and help their Leader (8) think more strategically about the impact of their actions.
This relationship is a blend of autonomy, respect, trust and deep bonding. Both partners are highly independent with a strong sense of personal boundaries. Their home serves as a shared foundation and in partnership, this can be a powerful, deep, effective and thoughtful pair with a dash of brilliance and a dash of brashness. When aligned, they make a powerful combination and an almost unbeatable team.
Enneagram Type 5:8 The Downward Spiral
This couple can run into trouble due to issues around trust, rejection and a natural tendency to isolate. With tightening defenses, both struggle with vulnerability choosing instead to disengage and become self-protective. This triggers the downward spiral.
In times of stress, the Investigator (5) withdraws to restore themselves. This can feel like rejection to the Leader (8) who responds by either withdrawing or confronting. If the Leader (8) confronts, the Investigator (5) retreats more, creating an ugly loop of increasing threats and increasing withdrawal. If the Leader (8) withdraws, communication breaks down. As both types are capable of denying pain and isolating, it can be difficult for this couple to repair.
Learn more about the Enneagram Compatibility of Type 5s in relationships with Type 8s
Enneagram knowledge can be transformative in improving your relationships and an important tool in cultivating compassion, both towards yourself and others. In my book, “The Nine Keys: A Guide Book to Unlock Your Relationships Using Kundalini Yoga and the Enneagram” I explore intimate relationships through the lens of the Enneagram.
The Nine Keys
The Nine Keys is the essential encyclopedia of the Enneagram in relationships. This book contains Enneagram relationship theory for all 45 type combinations as well as personal testimonials all 81 relationship perspectives. Drawing on over 1,500 years of relationship experience from over 100 couples from around the world, the descriptions and testimonials are instructive, uplifting, cautionary, and sometimes scary and humorous – all real, all good. Browse the entire book here.
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- Read more: Leader (8)s talking about their relationships with their Investigator (5) at page 247
- Read more: Investigator (5)s talking about their relationships with their Leader (8) at page 364
- Read more: Kundalini Yoga kriyas and meditations for Investigator (5)s at page 462 and Leader (8)s at page 474