Enneagram Type 6 Loyalists/Doubters/Skeptics are typically responsible, reliable, trustworthy and value security and loyalty. Enneagram Type 8 is called the Leader, the Challenger and the Protector because of their keen awareness of power dynamics: who is in control, who might need protection, who needs to be challenged. Here we explore the compatibility of an Enneagram Type 6 with a Type 8 and what the relationship looks like when it is in balance and when it starts to spiral downward.
Enneagram Type 6:8 When In Balance
The Loyalist (6) with the Leader (8) share a solid, enduring, supportive, loving partnership with a foundation built on trust, protectiveness and loyalty. Both can have a suspicious, skeptical view of the world and with each other, they can have an “us against the world” attitude. In partnership, they share many similar traits and a few key differences. High trust is a key attribute in this relationship, mainly because both partners have trust issues. Once trust between these two is established, they bond deeply. Both share the values of commitment, responsibility, duty and a willingness to work hard.
Loyalist (6)s bring playfulness, warmth, a sensitivity to the emotional world and an eye for danger. They are more deliberate and thoughtful in their actions offering helpful insights about potential consequences and pitfalls to their Leader (8).
Leader (8)s bring decisiveness, resilience, willpower, resourcefulness and determination. This can be inspiring to their Loyalist (6) who is more emboldened to leave their comfort zone with their Leader (8) at their side.
Together, this is a genuinely affectionate couple with strong chemistry and emotional intensity. With their base of trust, the connection between them has the potential to gradually grow and deepen.
Enneagram Type 6:8 The Downward Spiral
As trust is at the foundation of this couple, any fissures in trust can trigger the downward spiral for this couple. Both types are ready to believe the worst in others, and both can become extremely reactive. Because of the deep sensitivity to betrayal, fissures in trust may be real or imagined.
With tightening defenses, the phobic Loyalist (6) and Leader (8) head in different directions. The Leader (8) pushes and confronts to get to the bottom of the issue and to establish where they stand. This direct and powerful approach can trigger reactivity in the Loyalist (6) who projects a worst-case scenario outcome. As a protective measure, they retreat, further provoking the Leader (8). This cycle of attack and retreat can continue with increasing intensity until a truce is drawn or a line is crossed.
In the case of counterphobic Loyalist (6)s who behave like Leader (8)s when stressed, this cycle looks different. This couple may get into open conflict with both pushing the other to back down. The more the Leader (8) pushes, the more the counterphobic Loyalist (6) meets the attack. This cycle ends the same way, with increasing intensity until a truce is drawn or a line is crossed.
Learn more about the Enneagram Compatibility of Type 6s in relationships with Type 8s
Enneagram knowledge can be transformative in improving your relationships and an important tool in cultivating compassion, both towards yourself and others. In my book, “The Nine Keys: A Guide Book to Unlock Your Relationships Using Kundalini Yoga and the Enneagram” I explore intimate relationships through the lens of the Enneagram.
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The Nine Keys is the essential encyclopedia of the Enneagram in relationships. This book contains Enneagram relationship theory for all 45 type combinations as well as personal testimonials all 81 relationship perspectives. Drawing on over 1,500 years of relationship experience from over 100 couples from around the world, the descriptions and testimonials are instructive, uplifting, cautionary, and sometimes scary and humorous – all real, all good. Browse the entire book here.
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- Read more: Leader (8)s talking about their relationships with their Loyalist (6) at page 289
- Read more: Loyalist (6)s talking about their relationships with their Leader (8) at page 367
- Read more: Kundalini Yoga kriyas and meditations for Loyalist (6)s at page 462 and Leader (8)s at page 474