Enneagram Type 9 is called the Peacemaker or the Meditator because of their focus on harmony and their mellow, go-with-the-flow attitude. Here we explore the compatibility of an Enneagram Type 9 with a Type 9 and what the relationship looks like when it is in balance and when it starts to spiral downward.
Enneagram Type 9:9 When In Balance
A double Peacemaker (9) couple is accepting, mellow and accommodating with a relationship characterized by low drama, routine and a lack of direct conflict. They naturally focus on the positive elements of their partner and the relationship itself. Peacemaker (9)s instinctively don’t place lots of demands on their relationships and with a double Peacemaker (9) combination, this is multiplied. Both partners have a great deal of personal freedom to pursue their own interests, and the relationship itself may move at a slow, easygoing pace with little talk of a more formal commitment or change from the status quo. Harmony is paramount and is often fused with routine so this couple has a certain steadiness and regularity to it. They take pleasure in each other’s company and may enjoy the simple things in life-cooking together, dining together, relaxing together and so forth. Peacemaker (9)s seek relationships in which they feel comfortable, and they can often find that sense of comfort in another Peacemaker (9).
This can be a stable, accepting pair who work hard to cultivate a predictable, harmonious future together.
Enneagram Type 9:9 The Downward Spiral
Conflict avoidance can trigger the downward spiral in this couple. Peacemaker (9)s instinctively withdraw in the face of conflict (or potential conflict) so it can be easy for this couple to avoid addressing difficult relationship issues. Frustrations build, tensions grow, but as the source of conflict goes unaired, resolution is never reached. Peacemaker (9)s can be out of touch with what they want so it can be hard for both partners to understand, much less express, their needs. Somatic issues may hint at a deeper problem with one or both Peacemaker (9)s becoming depressed or anxious without fully realizing it. As underlying tensions grow, the wall of denial thickens. Because Peacemaker (9)s are resistant to change, the relationship may continue in a zombie, low energy state for long periods of time before one partner finally decides to initiate change, often in the form of a split.
Learn more about the Enneagram Compatibility of Type 9s in relationships with Type 9s
Enneagram knowledge can be transformative in improving your relationships and an important tool in cultivating compassion, both towards yourself and others. In my book, “The Nine Keys: A Guide Book to Unlock Your Relationships Using Kundalini Yoga and the Enneagram” I explore intimate relationships through the lens of the Enneagram.
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