Perfectionist (1) with Leader (8)

1:8 When Ιn Balance

This pair shares many fundamental values while adopting very different approaches. When self-aware and aligned in their goals, the common values serve as a solid foundation and the stylistic and energetic differences keep the partnership interesting and vibrant. Shared values include a determination, grit and a willingness to work hard to overcome adversity for a higher cause. Both can be fierce, tough, focused, self-sacrificing and unswayed by the opinions of others. Truth, justice and a strong moral compass are key traits and values of both partners.


Energetically the two types are quite different, and this can be balancing, with the Leader (8) bringing a passionate and powerful presence contrasted against the Perfectionist (1)’s more contained, reserved and rigid manner. The Perfectionist (1) appreciates the presence, the big energy and the directness of the Leader (8). The Leader (8) admires the values, convictions and the uncompromising nature of the Perfectionist (1). Like a Mafia boss and a head nun, both embody their beliefs. When balanced and respectful of their differences, this is a powerful and impactful couple.


1:8 The Downward Spiral

Fundamental philosophical and energetic differences can be the trigger for the downward spiral of this couple. Their temperaments and approach to life are different and, in some ways, opposite. When fixated on their habit of attention, the differences can cause challenges. Perfectionist (1)s are methodical, rational, cool-headed and restrained. Work comes before play and self-denial lines up neatly with their values. This is a sharp contrast with the Leader (8) who uses their energetic presence to their advantage to get what they want and further their cause.


Leader (8)s are self-referencing and feel no shame or restraint in their pursuit of what they want. This can offend the Perfectionist (1) who values model behavior as part of their idealized world. The Perfectionist (1) starts to see the Leader (8)’s boldness as crude, unpredictable and untrustworthy. The initial attraction of the powerful, assertive Leader (8) descends into criticism, disdain and contempt.


Conversely, Leader (8)s don’t appreciate feeling judged and begin to view the Perfectionist (1) as rigid, nitpicking, delusionally idealistic and hypocritical. Rather than feel controlled by the Perfectionist (1) in any way, the Leader (8) may start to act out, becoming more outrageous, rebellious and irreverent. As the downward spiral picks up momentum, anger, either open or convert, enters the picture. Without a mechanism to stop the momentum, the partners polarize and may eventually split.


Purchase the full book (digital or paperback): “The Nine Keys: A Guide Book to Unlock Your Relationships Using Kundalini Yoga and the Enneagram”