The Enneagram Type 1 is called the Perfectionist or the Reformer because their attention automatically goes to what needs improvement and correction. Enneagram Type 6 Loyalists/Doubters/Skeptics are typically responsible, reliable, trustworthy and value security and loyalty. Here we explore the compatibility of an Enneagram Type 1 with a Type 6 and what the relationship looks like when it is in balance and when it starts to spiral downward.
Enneagram Type 1:6 When Ιn Balance
The Perfectionist (1) and Loyalist (6) have a blend of shared qualities and balancing differences. In a self-aware state, this can be a steadfast, stable, loyal and committed pair.
Both types have a strong work ethic and sense of duty and responsibility. This is a couple where work comes before play, decision-making is thorough and methodical, and practical issues may dominate the shared landscape. Foundational elements of trust, respect, fairness, reliability and stability are at the core of this relationship.
To the dynamic, the Perfectionist (1) brings precise thinking, decisiveness, order, logic, clear thought and efficiency. They are action-oriented and don’t like to stay frozen in indecision. They have a mental framework to follow that gives them guidance, self confidence and the ability to act with assurance. Their internal compass is strong, and when they act, they act with conviction.
Loyalist (6)s are more doubtful, insecure and indecisive. These qualities make them relatable and bring warmth, approachability, vulnerability and a more human touch to the dynamic. The Loyalist (6) brings an eye for potential pitfalls to the relationship and helps ensure security and safety. As they spend a lot of time considering all possible risks, their decision-making tends to be slow but reliable. This is something their Perfectionist (1) comes to value.
When self-aware and aligned, this is a committed, grounded loving team.
Enneagram Type 1:6 The Downward Spiral
When in a fixated or unaware state, the stability and security that were hallmark of this couple become threatened. When Perfectionist (1)s tighten their defenses, they become more critical, rigid, harsh and close-minded. As Loyalist (6)s tighten their defenses, they become more negative, indecisive, insecure and frozen in worst-case scenario thinking. The Perfectionist (1) leans forward with criticism, and the Loyalist (6) pulls back to try to avoid their Perfectionist (1)’s attack.
Perfectionist (1)s have a keen sense of fairness and efficiency and when fixated, their thinking narrows. They may become critical of their Loyalist (6) or the relationship itself on any variety of topics ranging from household chores, life decisions, personal growth and so forth. This criticism, either direct or indirect, is very anxiety-provoking for the Loyalist (6) who begins to project a worst-case scenario. Contempt and criticism from the Perfectionist (1) and stonewalling and avoidance by the Loyalist (6) enter the picture. What the Loyalist (6) needs is reassurance, but if neither partner can break the momentum, reactivity intensifies with the Perfectionist (1) becoming increasingly critical, and the Loyalist (6) becoming increasingly insecure and indecisive. Stability erodes, and without of reversal of the momentum, the relationship becomes increasingly distant and may eventually end.
Learn more about the Enneagram Compatibility of Type 1s in relationships with Type 6s
Enneagram knowledge can be transformative in improving your relationships and an important tool in cultivating compassion, both towards yourself and others. In my book, “The Nine Keys: A Guide Book to Unlock Your Relationships Using Kundalini Yoga and the Enneagram” I explore intimate relationships through the lens of the Enneagram.
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The Nine Keys is the essential encyclopedia of the Enneagram in relationships. This book contains Enneagram relationship theory for all 45 type combinations as well as personal testimonials all 81 relationship perspectives. Drawing on over 1,500 years of relationship experience from over 100 couples from around the world, the descriptions and testimonials are instructive, uplifting, cautionary, and sometimes scary and humorous – all real, all good. Browse the entire book here.
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- Read more: Loyalist (6)s talking about their relationships with their Perfectionist (1) at page 65
- Read more: Perfectionist (1)s talking about their relationships with their Loyalist (6) at page 263
- Read more: Kundalini Yoga kriyas and meditations for Perfectionist (1) at page 474 and Loyalist(6)s at page 462