The Enneagram Type 1 is called the Perfectionist or the Reformer because their attention automatically goes to what needs improvement and correction. Here we explore the compatibility of an Enneagram Type 1 with a Type 1 and what the relationship looks like when it is in balance and when it starts to spiral downward.
Enneagram Type 1:1 When Ιn Balance
Two Perfectionist Type 1s share the traits of integrity, honesty, efficiency, and reliability. They inherently understand and agree about the importance of hard work, responsibility, and honoring social contracts. Both value a strong work ethic and strive to live “correctly.” Work comes before play, and work is taken very seriously. Both partners are pragmatic, rational, and gifted problem solvers. This couple may be sought after in their various social and professional circles for their organizational ability and practical solutions. Fairness, honesty, objectivity, and acting responsibly are foundational elements in this pair. This couple gives each other a lot of latitude for personal quirks around cleanliness, organization, and so forth since they generally recognize these tendencies in themselves. Both look to each other for inspiration on how to become a better person. They also seek to be that inspiration for their partner. Both partners strive to be reasonable, respectful, and appreciative of each other. There can be a serious flavor in this dynamic as work and other practical responsibilities may dominate the lives of both partners.
As Type (1)s tend to bottle their anger, finding non-threatening ways to express the full range of emotion is important. Unexpressed anger can present itself as sarcasm, biting comments, and indirect attacks. Successful Type 1 couples talk about using regular check-ins with each other and other forums in which they can discuss their grievances before negative energy builds. When in balance, this is a highly supportive, understanding, and loving couple.
Enneagram Type 1:1 The Downward Spiral
As a couple, learning to prioritize restorative rest, deep relaxation, and play can be a challenge. When too much tension builds, defenses tighten, and themes of judgment inflexibility and isolation enter the picture. Rigid thinking, harsh interpretations, and a sense of righteousness can trigger the downward spiral.
This rigid thinking and judgmental attention can go in several directions. In some dynamics, one partner will become harsh and judgmental towards the other, creating a toxic environment void of support and acceptance. In other instances, the couple may align around shared values but narrow their thinking to exclude anyone who doesn’t strictly adhere to their code, creating an environment of isolation and superiority. Both environments are typically void of true compassion, and the ability to speak from the heart is lost. With an unsupportive environment and a lost heart connection, the relationship may collapse.
Learn more about the Enneagram Compatibility of Type 1s in relationships with Type 1s
Enneagram knowledge can be transformative in improving your relationships and an important tool in cultivating compassion, both towards yourself and others. In my book, “The Nine Keys: A Guide Book to Unlock Your Relationships Using Kundalini Yoga and the Enneagram” I explore intimate relationships through the lens of the Enneagram.
The Nine Keys
The Nine Keys is the essential encyclopedia of the Enneagram in relationships. This book contains Enneagram relationship theory for all 45 type combinations as well as personal testimonials all 81 relationship perspectives. Drawing on over 1,500 years of relationship experience from over 100 couples from around the world, the descriptions and testimonials are instructive, uplifting, cautionary, and sometimes scary and humorous – all real, all good. Browse the entire book here.
“This book has been so incredibly helpful. Not only has it given me a better understanding of the dynamics in my romantic relationships (both failed and successful!), but has given me insight into my familial and platonic relationships, as well.”– EVK
- Read more: Perfectionist Type 1s talking about their relationships with their Perfectionist Type 1 at page 46
- Read more: Kundalini Yoga kriyas and meditations for Type 1s at page 474