1:1 When Ιn Balance
Two Perfectionist (1)s share the traits of integrity, honesty, efficiency and reliability. They inherently understand and agree about the importance of hard work, responsibility and honoring social contracts. Both value a strong work ethic and strive to live “correctly.” Work comes before play, and work is taken very seriously. Both partners are pragmatic, rational and gifted problem solvers. This couple may be sought after in their various social and professional circles for their organizational ability and practical solutions. Fairness, honesty, objectivity and acting responsibly are foundational elements in this pair. This couple gives each other a lot of latitude for personal quirks around cleanliness, organization and so forth since they generally recognize these tendencies in themselves. Both look to each other for inspiration on how to become a better person. They also seek to be that inspiration for their partner. Both partners strive to be reasonable, respectful and appreciative of each other. There can be a serious flavor in this dynamic as work and other practical responsibilities may dominate the lives of both partners.
As Perfectionist (1)s tend to bottle their anger, finding non-threatening ways to express the full range of emotion is important. Unexpressed anger can present itself as sarcasm, biting comments and indirect attacks. Successful Perfectionist (1) couples talk about using regular check-ins with each other and other forums in which they can discuss their grievances before negative energy builds. When in balance, this is a highly supportive, understanding and loving couple.
1:1 The Downward Spiral
As a couple, learning to prioritize restorative rest, deep relaxation and play can be a challenge. When too much tension builds, defenses tighten, and themes of judgment inflexibility and isolation enter the picture. Rigid thinking, harsh interpretations and a sense of righteousness can trigger the downward spiral.
This rigid thinking and judgmental attention can go in several directions. In some dynamics, one partner will become harsh and judgmental towards the other, creating a toxic environment void of support and acceptance. In other instances, the couple may align around shared values but narrow their thinking to exclude anyone who doesn’t strictly adhere with their code, creating an environment of isolation and superiority. Both environments are typically void of true compassion, and the ability to speak from the heart is lost. With an unsupportive environment and a lost heart connection, the relationship may collapse.
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